I don’t understand ‘Forgiveness.’ That is not to say that I don’t do it…I just don’t get it, conceptually.
I spent pretty much all night last night reading the wikipedia entry on this word, or notion, or process and I’ma share with you my Mr. Toad style wild ride from confused blog to drunk sinning confused blog in hell.
I’m gonna use the make-believe for this one.
Imagine please, that Jean Luc, terrified at the prospect of meeting his girlfriend Magdalena’s parents (Henri and Genevieve), has them turned into Down Syndrome kittens instead (still named Henri and Genevieve). Several months after Magdalena accepted the fact that they’d never learn how to use a litterbox, Jean Luc decides he isn’t really ready to commit to Magdalena anyway and fesses up.
Maybe Jean Luc apologizes. Or doesn’t apologize, it doesn’t even matter.
Because Magdalena now has to burn his stuff, cry into a trough of profiteroles, seek professional help or do whatever it is she needs to do in order to accept Jean Luc’s dickery, let it go, and go forth with life as an unwounded happy-like orphan lady.
I’m with me up till here. I get that it’s bad for Magdalena to stay the victim, to be angry and resentful.
The part that I don’t get is how forgiveness affects Jean Luc, or is this just a connotion? If Jean Luc asks Magdalena for forgiveness, he isn’t asking her to heal herself. He is asking for his speciest behavior to be excused, for them to be “friends” and or for things to get naked again, right?
Magdalena can forgive Jean Luc for felintarding her parents. But that is not to say that what Jean Luc did has been erased, it’s just to say that it’s not a source of pain for her anymore. So what then, would make Magdalena, who happens to find parenticide unacceptable, and doesn’t even like cats, special needs or otherwise, even if she was adopted, even if her parents hated jews and she was one, now knowing that he is capable of such craptastic behavior, want to be involved with J.L. in any capacity?
Is there some notion that forgiveness means you’re willing to like the victimizer still, or again, or or be willing to form a new relationship instead of cutting them out of your life?! I lost me.