Spring Has Sprung. Officially.

But what does that mean, really, when you live in Los Angeles whose seasons are Flood, Drought, Fire, and Earthquake?

It means a couple things:

#1. Instead of being hot during the day and cool at night, it’s hot during the day and warm at night.

This will soon be followed by hot during the day and hot still at night.

#1#2. Everyone is dumping everyone.

Spring Fever, the second stage of this process, will hit next. But before everyone starts throwing the Eff to everyone, in public too no less, the veil of winter depression and darkness and Seasonal Affective Disorder lifts and is replaced with Toxic Self Interest*. Suddenly people think they should trade up. “You deserve better” and “But I still want to be friends” and “We’ve grown apart” are very much in bloom right now.
Rest assured tho, that before the summer dust settles, everyone will be right back in relationship jail (new and hopefully improved!). Because once you’ve seen someone at their personal sweatiest, Sunday brunch’d three times with your shared puppy (who is ugly and therefore cute, lookin’ at you chihuahua, pug and boston terrier) and agreed to see that shitty summer blockbuster, now with extra CGI, just so you can bask in someone else’s cold air, your shared cell has been slammed shut…until next spring.

sweatiest love
*term coined by Quinn Heraty, genius.

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